We live in a world that often clings to excuses…where blame is cast like shadow puppets on the wall, obscuring the light of personal accountability. We explain away rudeness as character, justify apathy, cheer at the hypocrisy of congeniality, and lose ourselves in the maze of circumstance.
The Stoics would say: we choose this way of being. At first glance, this notion may feel austere, even unkind… but let us not misinterpret its intention. Stoicism doesn’t suggest we deserve hardship, nor does it invalidate the pain born of it. Rather, it whispers a quiet truth: eventually, we must rise from the seat of our errors and wounds, and walk forward – not as martyrs, but as the quiet heroes of our own story.
Healing is not about denying our past. Strength isn’t suppressing our sorrows. It is about meeting our suffering with open eyes and choosing to live despite it. The Stoic path is not paved with blind positivity; it is rooted in clear-eyed acceptance, and from that soil, a new life can grow. Character and wisdom lie not in pretending we are untouched by darkness but in crafting a life that is greater than our shortcomings – a life based on the calling of our spirit, not a life determined by the world’s ideas of how we should live it. Growth requires honesty, self-inquiry and the willingness to rise, again and again, in devotion to the self we are still becoming.
We have all known sorrow, some more intimately than others. Yet there exists a quiet but profound difference between the person who has endured immense loss and still chooses to rise, and the one who lets a single wound define their entire existence. That difference is will. It is our will that stretches us toward healing, that urges us to evolve beyond the scripts we inherited.
I have heard it said to me, “You advocate too strongly for self-development and freedom. We are not heroes, we are human. We should be allowed to simply be.” And to that I say: yes, you are right. If you are content as you are, may peace embrace you. But I advocate for growth and balanced freedom because I believe in them. It is my perspective, it doesn’t have to bw yours. If your path makes you genuinely content, then all the more power to you.
I do not believe we are here merely to survive – I believe we are here to create a life as beautiful as our imaginations dare. Healing, aligned action and the audacity to believe in one’s right to joy…that to me is the true alchemy. As a shadow worker, I would never urge a weary soul to press forward without pause. I believe in balance…in rest, stillness and the necessity of joy. But I have also seen how often people remain in suffering because they fear the unknown more than the known pain. In those cases, my guidance is different. Each life is a singular narrative, and healing must be approached with compassion and care.
I advocate for self-healing and growth not because I think suffering is weakness, but because I have seen too many beautiful lives dimmed by resignation. To say, “I am only human” should not be an excuse for cutting ourselves from archetypes within…it should be a celebration of our capacity to feel, to change, to begin again….
I have seen those whom life seemed to favor, crumble – and those to whom life was cruel rise with a radiance born of resilience. Perhaps you carry pain that was never yours to bear. Perhaps you were abused, betrayed or robbed of peace. I do not diminish your suffering…I know it intimately. But I am here to gently shake your spirit awake and say: This is not the end of your story. Life is calling you, not to forget but to rise, to reclaim, to choose.
Pain asks us to transform. To move from vengeance to wisdom. From despair to creation. We cannot always control what happened, but we can decide who we will be in the face of it.
Healing is about walking through the fire and choosing to live. It is about embracing the darkness, not to live in it, but understand it enough to be free of its hold. Forgiveness, too, must be honest. It is not about forcing amends with those who hurt us – it is about no longer letting their actions define who we are.
I have asked myself the same questions you may have asked: Why me? Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve it? The truth is, I may never know. But I do know that through all of it, I have learned to see the world not with bitterness, but with depth. The pain gave me insight, the mistakes taught me to see life from all angles while grounding me. They showed me that I can be gentle and have strong boundaries. They softened the sharpness of my judgment and opened the door to compassion…for others, and for myself. We are not here to be flawless…we are here to become whole.
There were moments when I taught I would not ever live again; there are still moments when I feel as if I am broken. One day, after a particularly vivid nightmare, I felt the old terror wrap itself around me. A song played that once meant joy, but now carries ghosts, while my cat and dog started fighting. Such behavior is rare for them – after calming them, I went on to the kitchen. I burned my finger while cooking, and suddenly, everything fell apart. I found myself on the kitchen floor, sobbing…not just for the cut, but for all the cuts life had left on my soul. My mind replayed days of abuse, days when a little girl felt so afraid, tired abd abandoned. My mind replayed the judgement of people who don’t even know me yet have strong opinions…people who assume or slander. My mind replay vividly the day of the dead bodies, in particular that of my best friend growing up…the blood, the brokenness, the endless night that changed the life of many….I let the pain come. I honored the pain, and when the wave passed, I told myself: You are safe now. You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to rest. And then, when ready, I rose again – not in defiance, but in devotion to life.
I spent days in stillness…reading – which I love deeply- bathing in salts, sitting on my front porch watching birds land at the feeder. Slowly, my energy returned. My spirit stretched back into its shape. I danced again…and though there are nights I still wrestle with sleep, I’ve come to cherish the beauty in the quiet.The point of this story isn’t to evoke your pity… I have no need for it. I share my story so you may see yourself in it, and know you are not alone. I share so you understand: your mind may revisit the past not to punish you, but to invite you into healing. Be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with those who nurture, not enable. And when the time comes…move – even if only one small step at a time.
I do not dismiss, hate or enable the younger version of myself… I honor her. I don’t need to be “healed” to feel proud of who I am, and how I have refused to let my spirit succumb to what was meant to break me. Likewise, you deserve a life full of love, creativity, wild grace and rest. You deserve to feel at home in your own skin…even if the world doesn’t understand you.
I share my wounds, my rebellion, my fierce hope with you, because I believe in you. Not the version society demands…but your whole, raw, miraculous self. This world needs your light and your darkness (for darkness is not the same as maliciousnees). Welcome your strangeness. Welcome the sacred wisdom hidden in your shadows.So rise….not because you must, but because YOU CAN. Shine…not for applause, but because it is your nature to do so. Because damn it, YOU deserve it.
Eiros 