Your Memory

**Dedicated to anyone who lost a significant other. Rough copy

Today I feel like crying
Yet I know you would want me to smile
I wonder if soon I will be by your side

Today was the day you left
Another year without you here
I miss you like crazy
Yet I can't reach you...
You are too far

The sunshine is smiling down on me
Yet inside I fight the dark clouds creeping in
Reminding me what they took
What I didn't cherish when it was near

I smile because I know you would want me to
I try because you taught me well
I live by the code we wrote 
Your strength reflected on it
Your beauty, something I won't forget

This day is to reflect on the saddest of my life
When death chose to take you and leave me behind
Nostalgia I carry in my soul
"I love you sweet crazy spirit"...your beautiful words

With you I knew what I meant 
No games or pretenses
No walls or false defenses
Just truth...no lies

With your departure half of my hope is gone
"Don't cry for me. Love is waiting for you"
But you were love and you let go
I should have tried harder
I should have been by your side

This has been the longest of my existence
Yet each day I try with all my might
Your teachings fueling me 
Hoping you were right

Today I can't bring myself to write your name
I have the music playing
Like a zombie I dance 
Our favorite wine dripping from my lips
I smile but I want to cry

Melancholy is all I feel
For I can't see your beautiful eyes
Your photos I keep with me
To remind me of what love looked like

I am not safe
I have never been
You were my anchor and my dream
Without you I am all alone
No matter I will try to go on

My voice wants to cry out your name
I search for you everywhere I go
On a stranger's gaze I seek for your light
But they are always empty 
Death while alive

Only you know my hell
Only you know my light
Only you understand my choices
Only your embrace was safe harbor
I miss your spirit so much
Please take me home

I am not the warrior you thought I was
I am afraid a lot of the time
I can't say this out loud 
For no one cares what life looks now

Times like this, I feel so lonely
Yet I know you would want me to stand and shine
More than an ocean divides us
Yet I want to find your light one more time

Some days tears flow freely 
As my pillow becomes my confidant
You intoxicated me with your raw beauty
Do you know how hard that is to find?
Most people like to pretend 
They like to live wearing masks

I know energy doesn't die
I keep talking to you as if you were by my side
Yet no response comes my way
Your sweet voice silenced 
You now exist in another plane

Damn you for showing me another side of life
Why did it have to be this way?
Why did we have to say goodbye?

In the solitude of these walls
I raise my glass to you one more time
I miss you sweet angel
You were the light which lit my fire
The inspiration to my battered life

Today is the saddest, longest day 
For today is the day you departed from my life
A most painful day 
You were not just my lover but my friend
I know I didn't say this then 
"I love you" and that love will always remain. 

Sofia E. Falcone