In her body beats an ancient heart
Yet within she carries the vivid memories of the inner child
Too young to understand how violence could reign
And why others live to only forget.
Within this world many empty souls
Only their callous meanness remains
Incarnating that which they were supposed to hate
Tearing at those they claim they understand
Alas, they don’t know better
They can’t understand her
They can’t understand me
For they do not know what it is to live with PTSD.
She lives in a perpetual dance between darkness and light
Sometimes she is a stranger to her own self
Through it all she sets one foot in front of the other
She makes it look easy but don’t be fool
Her magick has been paid with gold tears
Echoes of nightmares that tumble out
Suffocating…
Shots fire…
Purple sky.
She dances with her demons
And is blessed by her angels
Her sweet moments become her drug…
Her ecstasy…
While her dark nights of the soul can cast her down to hades
Where her mind wrestles with what was and what should have been
Remembering their smiles before all was blown up
Pure faces…
Vast hope…
All lost…
As the bullets charged forth
Rainbows and Unicorns dead
The girl had to grow up overnight instead.
Among all the shadows cast by terror's grim display
A girl once stood amidst the chilling night
Watching those she loved fight to survive
Their sin?
PRIVILEGE!
Innocence shattered by hateful hearts
Violent minds fueled by their own pain
The purity within their hearts twisted
Hateful words were whispered by those seeking to control
In the end the girl’s tender heart bruised even more
What little was left of her soul threatened to succumb
To a world of infinite hate and chaos combined.
Through smoke and sorrow, the inner child bore witness to insane cruelty
To horrors that haunt, to cries that pierce the ear
Red was to be the color she was to hate
Bloody walls…
Scattered flesh…
Memories that would bring to their knees even the most valiant
Yet in her eyes, a spark refused to fade
A spirit resilient, though deeply afraid
Knowing those wars were not meant to defend but destroy
So, outsiders could take control
Their pockets were richer while life was lost
But to them, that mattered not.
“Blame those who are not poor” they would say
“We are one of you” they would chant
All lies to twist their minds
For greed knows no end
Innocents believing their lies raised their weapons
Not knowing the dark masters don’t like to share
They only seek to divide and command
Twisting and manipulating those less fortunate
Education they don’t promote
For an open mind cannot be controlled.
As years passed by, wounds refused to heal
She carried scars no soul should ever feel
PTSD's weight upon her tender frame
Yet from the ashes of her own pain she rises
Refusing to be claimed…
Stubborn and wild…
Sacred blood flows through her veins.
Her mind she protects to keep open
And in her heart, there is no hate
At times there is anger…
At times there is rage…
And of course, pain always lingers
But in abundance there is love
For she knows as long she can claim the right to her own life
Nothing is ever lost
Her living, is her honoring those that walk with us no more.
In new lands, she built a home
With each new day, a silent vow she made
To face the shadows and embrace the day
Though fear may linger and nightmares persist
Her spirit rises, refusing to give in
For in her heart, divine fire still burns bright
More than a beacon of hope amidst the darkest night.
She finds solace in the love she gives
She finds refuge in not giving in
Her wild yet sacred self she honors
Thankful for those loving souls who take the time
Those who invest in people not because they need a medal
But because they know what it is to have a shattered heart.
From their own shadows, wildness, and sins they do not run
For to be humane is more than an act
It takes guts and love to stand with those who have been scarred
Knowing scars do not define a person,
For the beauty of a human being lies in its vulnerability
Madness some call it…
Weird others label it…
But those who still feel the fire inside
Only see them as beautiful and divine.
Though tears may flow, and memories at times assail,
She stands resilient, her courage ready to be unveiled
Wild and untamed as an Arabian horse
Her gypsy spirit remains chaotic
Yet although her journey marked by pain
She is blessed by life with the strength to rise again.
She has vowed to let her life be a testament
To the human spirit's boundless firmament
Though scars may linger, and shadows may cling
She'll keep on living, and love and courage will always win!
Sofia E. Falcone
Eiros 