Examining Our Most Common Limiting Beliefs

Most of us live amidst a cluttered interior – what I call mental debris – composed largely of harsh self-criticism. Limiting beliefs are not merely false ideas – we carry them as inherited echoes of pain, internalized doubt, and silent resignation. They are errors in perception that shape our inner architecture, narrowing the possibilities of our lives. Left unexamined, these beliefs become quiet tyrants, boxing us into mental cages too small for our spirit to stretch.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” 

The danger of limiting beliefs lies not in their existence, but in our unconscious submission to them. They whisper that we are unworthy, incapable, or unlovable, and if repeated often enough, these whispers become the inner dialogue of our days. We are quick to extend compassion to others, and yet, we deny ourselves the same gentleness. We mimic the gestures of love outwardly, but inwardly, we withhold it. Why?… because until we confront our shadow – the disowned and hidden parts of our psyche – our capacity to love, both ourselves and others, remains constrained.

When we allow limiting beliefs to dominate, we risk crafting a life that feels hollow. We subconsciously sabotage our own potential because some part of us still believes we do not deserve fulfillment or that others have to determine who or how we should be. These beliefs are often tethered to unresolved wounds. Until we tend to those wounds and consciously reprogram our inner world, our outer reality will simply be a mask, a charade that while it may look luminous and well put together on the outside, in the inside one remains empty and alone. 

There is no shortcut to healing. No quick-fix affirmation or weekend retreat can uproot a lifetime of hurt. The deeper the trauma, the more stubborn the beliefs that grow from it. Practices like meditation, yoga, NLP, or DBT are all valuable – but if they are used to bypass the core wounds rather than engage them, they become little more than spiritual or psychological band-aids. That’s why you often hear people say things like, “I don’t want negativity in my life,” or “I don’t do baggage.” But baggage is not optional…it is part of the human condition. What matters is not whether we carry it, but whether we are willing to unpack it.

Carl Jung wrote, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Likewise, Socrates declared, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Both understood that true transformation arises from confronting the parts of ourselves we fear, deny or ignore. The more inner work we do, the more we can stand, unshaken, amidst the so-called negativity or external demands of the world. We move from reactive to responsive, from fragile to grounded.

There is no hierarchy of souls – only those who are willing to descend into their depths, and those who are not yet ready. Growth requires courage. And healing takes time. Depending on the extent of our wounds, the process of reclaiming the self can be slow, even agonizing. But it is possible. And it is necessary. Do not be seduced by the modern illusion that positivity alone can erase pain. Rainbows don’t erase the storm – they follow it. We came into this life not just to enjoy, but to evolve. That evolution demands work.

There are far too many people running from themselves. They never pause to ask the difficult, transformative questions. Sometimes, they don’t even ask the simple ones – like: Why am I not fulfilled? What does success truly mean to me? Instead, they blame life, fate or others.

Consider the person who wants a better job but spends hours numbing out with television instead of acquiring the necessary skills. Or the one who gives up at the first obstacle, convinced the universe is against them. Or the man or woman who seeks a relationship not as a partnership but as an escape – a fantasy of rescue. And when that fantasy fails, they fault the other person, never pausing to ask what role they themselves played.

We are responsible for our lives. We cannot hide from our wounds; avoidance only deepens their roots. Reclaiming the self – especially after deep trauma – is one of the most demanding journeys, but also the most empowering. In my own healing, there are days I feel invincible, and days I want to vanish beneath a rock and disappear from my pain. Some wounds ache louder than others – especially when triggered. My journey is not complete. I am not always fast. But I do not give up, and the more I heal and accept myself as the unique multifaceted being I am, the more I am capable of helping my patients, and the more I get to expand on my art, my talents and passions. 

I’ve learned to be more patient with myself than I was years ago. I remind myself, often, that healing is not linear. There are times of rapid transformation, and times when I crawl. Sometimes I’m still. But even stillness has a purpose. These are my breathing spaces…pauses before another wave of progress. What matters is that I continue. However slowly, I move forward. If I don’t believe in myself, who will? I understand now that no one can reclaim what was taken from me – except me. I work for it because I am worth it. And so are you.

Here are some of the most common limiting beliefs I have come across within my own journey and within my experience with others:

1. Not believing you can obtain what you want in this life.-  

One of the most quietly corrosive beliefs a person can carry is the idea that they have no right to desire – let alone to receive – what they truly want from life. Whether it concerns love, purpose, creative expression, or simple joy, many individuals unconsciously internalize the notion that fulfillment is reserved for others, not for them.

This limiting belief often forms early, shaped by environments where needs were dismissed, dreams were belittled, or love was conditional. Over time, the psyche begins to equate desire with danger, longing with disappointment, and ambition with self-delusion. The result is a life lived in quiet resignation – settling for less not because it satisfies, but because it feels safer than risking hope. But desire is not the enemy of peace; it is a compass pointing toward growth. As Jung wrote, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” To desire deeply is to acknowledge that something within you still believes in possibility. And to pursue that desire with consciousness and integrity is not selfish—it is an act of reclamation.

You are not here to simply endure life. You are here to live it…fully, truthfully, and on your own terms. The work of dismantling limiting beliefs is not easy, but it is essential. Because until we believe we are worthy of more, we remain bound by the very stories that were never ours to begin with.

2. The believe that you can succeed but only to a certain level.-  

Many people believe success is reserved for a specific type of person – those with the “right” background, look, or connections. But when you truly study the lives of those who have succeeded, that belief quickly unravels. Success is not one-size-fits-all. It comes in many forms and from every kind of beginning.

I consider myself successful – not because I’ve reached some societal benchmark, but because I’m reclaiming my life. I’m creating a reality that aligns with who I am, not who I was told to be. And I know this isn’t my peak … it’s a point on a larger journey that still requires work, growth, and integrity.

To me, success isn’t about accumulation. It’s about fulfillment and restoration. It’s reclaiming the parts of myself lost to trauma, developing both personally and professionally, and honoring goals that are meaningful to me – even if they seem small to others.

True success is when your life expands, not in ways that control you, but in ways that reflect your truth. It’s not about reaching a ceiling – it’s about realizing there never was one.

3. A negative self image.-

Many people carry a deep-rooted belief that they are not worthy of love or respect. This isn’t truth- it’s conditioning. Most of these self-perceptions trace back to childhood, when we absorbed messages about our worth before we had the tools to question them.

Over time, those messages settle into the subconscious, shaping our identity without our awareness. They feel like truth because they’ve been with us so long …but they’re not. They are conclusions drawn from pain, not reality.

You are not the voice that says you’re unworthy. You are the one with the power to challenge it – and rewrite the story.

4. Thinking you have to depend on something.-

Many people grow up believing they must have an Achilles’ heel – that as humans, we’re too fragile, too damaged to cope without some form of escape. This belief quietly fuels dependency – on alcohol, drugs, pornography, even pharmaceuticals – used not just for relief, but as a way to numb what feels unbearable.

Addiction is complex, but at its core, it often stems from limiting beliefs: I’m unworthy. I’m broken. I can’t handle this. These inner narratives convince us that pain is unmanageable, and that we need something external to survive it.

But when I’ve worked with individuals to step away from these coping mechanisms, they’re often shocked by their own resilience. Without the addiction, they discover a strength they never knew they had. Pain doesn’t disappear—but it no longer controls them.

Life includes suffering …but running from it only compounds the hurt. Addiction demands a heavy price: the denial of one’s true self. Healing begins when you stop hiding and start facing what hurts with courage. Pain comes. And pain passes.

You are not too weak. You are simply unpracticed in your power.

5. Believing money is hard to come by.-

The belief that money is hard to come by is one of the most persistent and self-defeating illusions we carry. Success and abundance exist all around us – often in the same industries, cities, or communities where others struggle. So what makes the difference?

In most cases, it’s not just circumstance – it’s mindset, focus, and energy. While some people face genuine systemic barriers, those individuals often don’t complain; they persist. Meanwhile, many who have access to opportunity spend more time envying others than creating for themselves.

The truth is, success follows success. What you put out – energetically, emotionally, ethically – comes back. If you operate from scarcity, jealousy, or entitlement, the universe reflects that back to you. You focus on lack, and lack expands.

You do deserve a good life. But that life requires your alignment…your thoughts, choices, and actions must reflect what you say you want. Manifestation without movement is just fantasy.

The same truth applies to wealth, love, mental well-being, or any form of abundance: If you’re not willing to become the person who lives the life you want, you’ll keep recycling the one you’re trying to escape.

6. Thinking you are too old or too young.-

The belief that you’re too old or too young is one of the most quietly paralyzing lies we tell ourselves. It convinces people to stay stagnant – not because they lack ability, but because they’ve accepted a false limit based on perception, not truth.

But the truth is this: every day is a new beginning. The only “right time” is the moment you choose to act. Life doesn’t ask for a perfect timeline … it asks for your willingness.

It’s better to start late than to never start at all. And youth, no matter how bright, means little without direction. What matters is not your age, but your courage to begin. You are not too early. You are not too late. You are right on time…for your journey.

7. There is never enough time.-

The belief that there is never enough time is one of the most pervasive and convincing forms of self-deception. We repeat it like a mantra, often without realizing it’s not time that’s lacking – but permission. You will never “find” the time. You must give yourself the time.

We claim we’re too busy to heal, to create, to rest, to pursue what truly matters – yet hours are lost in distraction, avoidance, or obligations we’ve never questioned. This belief keeps us locked in cycles of delay, convincing us that someday we’ll have the space to live fully. But someday is a myth. The present moment is the only time we ever truly own.

Time expands or contracts based on how aligned we are with our priorities. When we give energy to what matters, time stops feeling like a tyrant and becomes a tool. The truth is, if something is important to you, it deserves space. Not when life slows down. Not when everything is perfect. Now.

You are not waiting on time. You are waiting on yourself.

8. To think  because something has been a certain way in the past, it has to remain the same.-

If you accept your limitations without action, you’re signing up for the same story to repeat itself. Change only happens when you make it happen.

Coming from a family where no one went to college doesn’t mean you can’t be the first. Having money doesn’t mean you will become selfish or lose your integrity. Growing up with abuse doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat it – you can be the first to heal, to break the cycle, to love differently. Battling depression doesn’t mean you’ll never overcome it.

Old patterns are tough to break – I’m not immune to their pull. My own history sometimes hijacks my peace, fueling over-vigilance and doubt. But I’m learning this: just because people hurt me before doesn’t mean my present has to carry that pain. Your past is not your blueprint. The only limits that bind you are the ones you refuse to challenge.

*I don’t want you to feel guilty or unworthy for holding limiting beliefs – we all have, at some point. The purpose here is to bring these beliefs into the light so you can begin to transcend them.

Limiting beliefs keep us from fully growing and thriving. Some stem from childhood, others we create ourselves. No matter their origin, recognizing these mental barriers is the first step toward freeing yourself from their hold. It’s time to stop watching others live the life you want while waiting for change to happen on its own. Growth, love, peace – they require your attention, your effort.

If you invest your energy seeking validation outside yourself, you’ll attract the same in return. Remember: what you put in is what you get back.

Don’t let your mind trap you in a cage of doubt. Train it to see your limitless potential. This journey won’t be instant; it will test your commitment. Ask yourself: How much do you want a better career, a deeper love, healing, or peace? How much do you want to overcome your struggles? The work you do is for you – for a fuller, happier life.

Even on the hardest days, hold on to this truth: you are worthy, you are deserving, and you are enough.

As you heal and grow, your mind will begin to support you more fully. Fear may still arise, but your subconscious will carry you through the shadows. Darkness won’t disappear overnight, but light will break through – more often, more brightly. With each step forward, you reclaim the magnificent being you were always meant to be.